AN OPEN LETTER FROM EVERY CHILD DEAR MOM, DAD OR GUARDIAN, I love you, and I know that you want to be the best parent that you can be. I am very sensitive, and I can feel your warmth, your caring, and your hearts desire to see me happy, healthy and successful in all areas of my life. I first want to thank you for being my parent; for giving birth to me and providing for my physical needs--food, clothing, and a home. Without you, I wouldnt be able to survive. Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for me. I am pleased and grateful that you are choosing to be there for me I understand how difficult parenting can be--I did not arrive with instructions. I know that you always do your best with the information that you have. You basically learned how to parent from your parents, and they did from theirs and so on down through the generations. Unless I learn other ways, Ill probably teach my children what you share with me. To make your job easier and to help you and I reach our goals, I want to give you the gift of telling you what I want and need. With healthy guidelines we can both experience joy, fulfillment, success and harmony. Thank you for your openness and your love. The following messages come from my heart: Please... 1. Understand that I am growing up and changing very fast. It must be difficult to keep pace with me, but please try. 2. Listen to me and give me brief, clear answers to my questions. Then I will keep sharing my thoughts and feelings. 3. Reward me for telling the truth. Then I am not frightened into lying. 4. Tell me when you make mistakes and what you learned from them. That helps me accept that I am okay, even when I blunder. 5. Pay attention to me and spend time with me. That helps me believe that I am important and worthwhile. 6. Do the things you want me to do. Then I have a good, positive model. 7. Comfort me when I'm scared, hurt or sad. That will help me feel I'm okay even when I'm not feeling strong or happy. 8. Take responsibility for all your feelings and actions. That will help me not blame others and take responsibility for my life. 9. Be consistent with me. Then I can trust your words and actions. 10. Communicate what you feel hurt or frightened about when you're angry at me. That will help me feel I'm a good person, and learn how to constructively deal with my feelings. 11. Tell me clearly and specifically what you want. That will help me hear you, and will also know how to communicate my needs in a positive way. 12. Express to me that I'm okay even when my words or behavior may not be. That will help me learn from my mistakes, and have high self-esteem. Thank you for hearing me. I love you! (Excerpts from the booklet, e-book, book, "All You Need Is HART" and Posters AS I GROW & HELP ME GROW) 1997, 2006 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist, author, speaker and teacher. http://www.helenerothschild.com |
