My 6-year old son Sean constantly interrupts. I know this is a common complaint because I hear other mothers of young children complaining of the same thing. My husband and I have explained and discussed with Sean the importance of listening and waiting, but he still seems to need all of my attention by interrupting. Any Peaceful Parenting suggestions?

Yes, it does feel like your son waits until he sees you on the telephone or deeply involved in a conversation as the time he most needs to tell you the most important thing of his life. As you point out you are not alone in this experience. Almost every parent Ive ever talked to says the same thing. (Amazingly pet owners tell me of their similar experiences!)

Probably what is going on is that our children become lonely for our undivided attention. Based on their need for love and belonging our children start behaving in ways to seek our love, devotion, and reassurance.

You might be asking yourself, I have just spent time with my son, paying attention and connecting with him. How can he be lonely for me, feel threatened or jealous when I am right here? I know it may seem hard to believe and still I think this is what is happening.

PEACEFUL PARENTING can not only help you better understand what is going on with your son; it can also provide you with a solution.

Remember that your child is born with five basic needs: the need for love & belonging, the need for power, the need for freedom, the need for safety and the need for fun. Your solution lies in this last genetic instruction, your childs need for fun.

During a time when you, your husband and son are all feeling happy and well connected with one another, bring up the topic of your son interrupting. Repeat your previous explanation of manners and why it is important for your son to wait his turn. But here is the key. Tell your son that you want to create a special hand signal as a reminder. Tell him that this is going to be a secret code that only the three of you will know. Ask him to help. Really make a game of this trying out many different alternatives. Be sure to include silly and outrageous ideas, the sillier the better. This will help your son get into the spirit of the game. After spending time exploring and creating alternatives and hopefully laughing along the way, the three of you need to decide on only one. Unless it is too outrageous it might help if your son chooses the hand signal he likes best. Then the three of you need to practice making this signal. Next practice and role play. Pretend that you and your husband are involved in a conversation and have Sean pretend to interrupt. Then either you or your husband or both give Sean the hand signal.

Continue the practice and role playing with you and Sean talking and your husband interrupting; your husband and Sean talking and you interrupting. Now that all three of you have practiced and role-played begin to use this hand signal in real life situations.

Remember that this plan will probably fail the first several times that you try it. If Sean interrupts and forgets what the hand signal means, tell him verbally that you would appreciate his waiting and not interrupting. Then later, when the two of you are alone, remind him of your agreement to use the hand signal as the reminder. Practice the signal again. Try to keep this as light and playful as possible.

If you are consistent with: 1. using the hand signal, 2. during the times when the hand signal doesnt work, discussing in private the plan again, and 3. repeating 1 & 2 as many times as it takes, I promise that eventually you, your husband and Sean will be having great success with this plan.