Came as no surprise there was a rape...

Yeah, her instincts got better and better, as time went by, when danger was very close to her, she could feel it. Alarms went off in her head and her senses became very acute.. But othertimes, her judgement was sadly lacking. A few decades later, she sat in her little car, waiting for her man, at Camarillo Springs Park. She was in a place she considered safe. One of their little roundevous spots...

While she was waiting, she looked around the park, and she noticed a guy messing around in the back of his beige VW camper van, parked behind her car and about 20 yards away. Ever watchful, she watched him in her rearview mirror. She was here to meet her man, who was also her connection so she was very alert and in the moment.

Then she watched the stranger as he closed up the van and started to walk towards the center of the park. He had to walk right by her car, and as he did, he acted as if she did not exist and cut a path that actually took him closer to the foothills, and away from her and her car.

She didn't know why, but her alarms were screaming inside her head. And she had learned all those years ago, as a wild child - to just listen - and to just watch. So she watched him. At the same time, she got her cell phone out of her purse, and pushed 911 - but did not hit send. She locked her car door and left the window cracked down just one inch for fresh air, and in case he came by, as predators do when they troll, like when they try to catch you off guard.

He walked all the way down the parkway on the left hand side, very casual like. Then he turned and walked back up the park, still on the other side of the open and grassy area. Never making eye contact, acting as if she was not even there.

This was a park, that if you did not know how to find it, you would never know it was there. It was the end of the road, off a road that was seldom used, except by local ranchers and a couple of retirement communitites.

On this day, there was really no one else in the park, but them. The closer he got to her car on his return walk, the more she tensed. She kept the phone in her hand and never took her eyes off of him. Suddenly, he swerved towards her car, head down and walked right by her, so casual, so cool, still as if she did not exist, as if she was not sitting almost directly in his path. And her head was talking to her like crazy. He passed her by, head still down, his brimmed hat pulled down low, dressed in almost the same beige color of his van... Then, he stopped, backed up about three steps, looked towards her window with a side glance, and asked her, "Do you have the time?" She remembers the the whole event, start to finish, still, even though it's been a few years. She can play the whole occurance in her head, like a video. It burned that deep into her soul, that day.

She remembers, she held up her cell phone, and growled at him, as aggressive as she could manage, "I already punched in 911, all I gotta do is punch "send". You need to keep on moving and get the hell away from me! Dig!?" And she shot him the meanest look she could manage, lips clenched, eyes narrowed, like a lioness ready to pounce on it's kill. And he acted as if if she had just told him, to have a really nice day. He calmly walked away, and returned to the VW camper, opened the rear door again, and started messing around with the stuff in the back, as if they had not just had a confrontation. Her heart was racing like a freight train.

When her man drove up, in his little white car, she jumped out of her car, and ran over to him. Her words just poured out, high speed, and with an intensity her man had never seen in her before. She was usually pretty hard to get a reaction out of, by this point in her life. He should know. He used to try and do stuff just to freak her out, and she would always acted as if anything he did or showed her, did not really effect her at all. She had learned to hold her emotions in check. But not today... She told him, "Hey baby, you see that freak over there? He's a FREAK and I know it! He tried to get me off guard, he was prowling the park, and nobody else is here, and he is up to something, and I told him, get the fuck away or I was calling 911 on his ass. Baby, I KNOW he's got a rape kit or murder kit in the back of that van. He's a freak baby, and he tried to get me!"

Well... her man, he loved her, and he loved intense situations, just as much as the next vato loco. She remembered one time, when they had cruised down south, and were sitting at a stop light, on the border between Bell and Compton. It was the first time she saw him go off on a stranger. She really expected the guy on the street, to pull out a gun and start shooting, cuz her vato went off that day. He just calmly asked her, "You want me to talk to him babe?" He was already straightening up his back and getting ready to handle his business.

"Nah, honey, let's just get outta here. You know I hate freaks. We don't need police here today. Let's just go. I just wanted someone to know he's up to no good!"

He said "Ain't nothing gonna happen baby, I'm here." So, they still hung around, smoking the mota and talking. And the freak stayed busy in the back of the van. And she never took her eyes off of him. He again was acting as if he was the only person in this little park, so far away from everywhere, far from main roads, with very little enforcement coming through on any given day. But she never took her eyes off of him.

Looking back, she realized that he gave her the same feeling as the creep who picked her up when she was hitching in the Valley, the summer she was 18. He had tried to get her in the car alone, but she insisted he give a ride to the two guys who were on the on-ramp before her, or she would pass on the ride. That crazy old man did not give a damn there were witnesses in the back seat, and he groped her not once, but twice, right in front of the guys.

That day, she had cried out for help and called the law for help, because just after she jumped out of the car, and slamed the door shut, at a red light, a motorcycle cop criused by, and she shouted, stop that car, that driver just assualted me. As it turned out, she was arrested for having a few grams hash on he,r and they let the freak go! After all, she was a woman, and he only tried to force himself on her. She on the other hand, had a little hash. Crazy, sick, creepy, freaks!

It came as no surprise to her, when she heard on the news the next day, there had been a rape in Camarillo Springs Park, just the day before. And she saw him, and still sees him in her minds eye, to this day. And she knows, she got away safe again. Thank you, God. But she also knew that contacting cops hardley ever worked in her favor. She remembered too, how when the neighbors used to call the cops to her house, when she was very young, because her first step-dad was just about beating her mother to death. She shook her head with the pain of the memory of those big men in uniforms asking her little mother, how did they know that she hadn't marked herself up, and caused the marks on her neck and bruised body, just to get rid of the old man for a few days? She surely had no clear concept of justice, amongst all her other deficits, either.