When women get together and talk about the men in their lives, there are reoccurring themes that usually end with someone saying, "Why do they do that ?" "They", of course, being men in general and their man in particular. For this Valentines Day, I thought I would share five dos and donts that invariably come up in a conversation about men.

Do Kiss. This is the number 1 secret that men need to know. Keep It Simple Stupid. It really is the little things, done consistently, that will melt our hearts. Some examples would be: clean out the dishwasher without being asked, make us a cup of coffee or tea in the morning, pick up after us once in awhile.

Do not keep a running tally in your brain of what you have done for us. Cooking dinner for us, dressed in a pair of cute boxer shorts, with an expectant look on your face is not exactly subtle, guys. For all the men that have done this, you know who you are. There is nothing that will throw cold water on a hot night faster than having your woman feel she owes you for a simple act of kindness.

Do romance us. On Valentines Day, instead of stopping on your way home from work to pick up flowers and a card, go to a florist a few days before. Pick a stem of your girls favorite blossom and have it delivered with a note which reads, "The perfection of this reminded me of you." We like corny, sentimental mush.

Do not have your secretary, sister, mother, or God forbid - your girlfriend, pick out a gift for us. I think this one is self-explanatory.

Do laugh with us. Women often state, when asked what qualities they look for in a man, "a sense of humor". You are probably thinking that we say that but what we really fantasize about is a hunk and you would be right. However, we will forgive almost anything in a man who makes us laugh.

Do not take yourself too seriously. Dont only talk about your work, your needs, your likes and dislikes. Give us equal time to share our dreams with you.

Do listen. I know this is a hard one for most men. We are aware that after the first five minutes of conversation, when that glazed look comes over you, that we have lost you. However, we want you to pretend to be interested. If we tell you about a tic that dear Aunt Sally has and our concern that it may be hereditary, make a mental note of it and ask us about it a few days later. You get huge points for this one.

Do not tell us that Valentines Day is just another excuse for big business to make money and that you dont feel you should contribute to the commercialization of it. I actually had a male friend who shared this opinion with his wife. The only response I could think of was," Gee. That extra y chromosome doesnt help you much, does it ?"

Do buy us jewelry. When all else fails, we like jewelry. It gives us bragging rights.

Do not buy us a hammer, toaster or a membership to a gym on Valentines Day. A rule of thumb on this one would be : On Valentines Day, if what you are thinking of buying us has any use at all, dont do it.

I hope these little insights into a womans mind are helpful. This Valentines Day try one or two of the dos. Who knows? You may be able to retire those boxer shorts.