I have a confession: I was confronted by a friend this past week. She suggested that I might possibly be living more from my head than my heart. She wanted to know where all the successful relationships were and was asking me, since I am THE REALationship Coach (That's pretty much the way she said it, too!) to show her evidence that these happy and successful relationships really existed. She was angry. She was hurt. She was sick and tired of the hell of relationship break-up. She was "mad as hell and wasn't going to take it anymore"!! It was quite a conversation as I had to use my verbal Tai Chi to dodge her sarcastic and angry jabs, her cynical hooks and her negative mindset about relationship success being more like pie in the sky. I can't say I blame her one bit. She's right. Where are those relationships? Yes, I do get to see many successful relationships, but that is mostly because of what I do. But in everyday life, where are they? Sure, there are many people who seem to be content with their relationships, but underneath their superficial smiles and socially correct acts, the truth is, they are far from fulfilled. In fact, many of these people feel quite empty. That's why they fill their lives with work, exercise, TV, sports, kids, and even drugs and alcohol. Not that most of those activities are necessarily bad, but too often they are used as distractions and artificial fillers for what is lacking in their primary relationships. And then there is the all mighty addictive energy. Addiction feeds on emptiness. It will come in and fill any void in your life faster than you say Kalamazoo (I'm originally from Michigan and this is a city there...no comments!!). This is the hell. It is hell when you've succumbed to addictive energy and are at it's mercy. It's even more hellish when you don't even realize it. But that is the power of addiction. Addiction will lay still, like a snake in the grass, and lure you into it's deceptive energy. How? All addictive behavior feels good, at least at first. If it doesn't feel good, it can't be addictive. Would you like to know the #1 addiction? You! Yes, you addicted to you (Me too, as we are all susceptible). We get so caught up in how we look, what others might be thinking about us, how little we have, how bad the future might be, what are other people might be saying about us, how well did we do and how much we have, that we don't even stay connected to life. And just like any addictive pattern, it will grow and grow until it rules, and ruins, your life. So, what's the solution? The Heart. Yes, the Heart. When you stay connected to your Heart, you stay connected to your intuition, your Spirit and your true Self. Perhaps the biggest challenge is to listen to your Heart and to trust it. Your Heart will also give the truest of self-expression and truth. Your truth. After all, that is all that really matters for you. But addiction will try to get you to doubt yourself and second-guess yourself, buy into imaginary fear and worry about how others may respond to your truth. Addiction will also try to convince that everything is okay when, at the same time, your Heart knows otherwise. Addiction tries to "protect" you from pain. But in the end, it causes more pain than what it originally was trying to protect you from. Henceforth is THE challenge. Be true to you at your core, in your Heart of Hearts, or be swayed by the deception of addiction. Want a solid, lasting, amazingly fulfilling and intimate relationship? Stay connected with your Heart. Trust it. Love it. Respect it. Protect it. Don't leave home (ever) without it. And I thank my friend for getting in my face about all this. I needed that. Now I'm getting in your face. Do I need to say any more? Namaste' *********** Ken Donaldson The REALationship Coach www.REALationshipCoach.com Ken@REALationshipCoach.com passion, power, purpose http://www.marryUfirst.com |
